Wicked Smart

Alright, Alright I admit it. I'm lame. I haven't posted about the trip to San Fran yet. And I'm not going to tonight either. Why? you may ask. Well there were definitely some awesomely blog-worthy moments (Drag queens collection Social Security, anyone?) and I don't want to invest enough time tonight to tell them with the amount of detail they deserve. What I do have time for tonight is a list. A list of the 25 Most Essential Songs That Everyone Should Have on Their Ipod, or 25 MESTESHTI, for short. These are not my favorite songs necessarily, although some of them are. But some of them aren't even my favorite song by that particular artist, I just feel like these are the necessities to create a well-rounded collection and give you, the musically challenged, a slim chance to fake it with that hot guy you met at Chop Suey last night. So, in no particular order, here they are: 25 MESTESHTI (as of 10.20.10) 1. Use Somebody- King of Leon 2. Flagpole Sitta- Harvey

What trip to San Francisco would be complete without Danny, Jesse and Joey?

So. Do I need to admit defeat in this blog, or do the lack of daily photos and blogs take care of that for me? Awesome. This is what happens when life gets busy and you find yourself lucky to make it INTO bed before falling asleep. Of course, my bed is about waist high so there have been many moments where I've felt like I was going to fall OUT of bed so it's not all good I suppose. I am actually super excited for this week. On Friday morning Amanda and I will be driving down to San Francisco for Roadtrip 2.0 (A.K.A. Roadtrip Part Deux). On the agenda? *Bigfoot Lodge *Speakeasy (with password!) *Drag Show *Talk Like a Pirate Day *Chinatown *Oregon Vortex *Wax Museum Don't worry, I will take a break from my photoslacking and actually post some pictures so the world can share in my tacky/cheesy/kick ass vacation! Woot!

We went and saw Jamie Cullum tonight. (2nd time in 2010 yippee!) He was playing at Chateau Ste. Michelle, and let me just say, if you haven't ever been to a concert there, you should absolutely go. It's gorgeous, the acoustics are decent for an outdoor arena and the people watching is to die for. Plus, if you sit at the top of the hill by the fence, you can spend your evening with a scary-ass peacock trying to kill-by-pecking. You can feed it kettle corn and cups of wine (Only the Chateau Ste. Michelle wine they serve at the winery, there are standards after all (or possibly rules regarding outside booze))but don't let the cops catch you, something about endangering the wildlife, blah blah blah. I should point out I didn't actually feed the peacock kettle corn OR wine, but there were lots of people hanging out with us along the fence that were drunk enough to find it an amusing way to kill time between acts. P.S. Jamie Cullum was AWESOME, once again. It was a much

And now, a dance lesson: The Robot The Gangsta Card Shuffle (not to be confused with the Truffle Shuffle) Pretty, Pretty Princess The Egyptian The "I'm-a-big-important-general-of-some-war-and-this-is-me-posing-for-the-statue-they-are-erecting-in-my-honor" *UPDATE* Shannon informed me that this is The Captain Morgan. Excuuuuuuse me. The Heisman The Get Down and Shake That Booty This dance lesson will be on here until Shannon actually reads my blog and forces me to remove the embarassing ones. She's no fun when she's sober.

Haven't had a lot of time to post lately. I will try and catch up some tomorrow after work, but it might end up being a week and a half's worth of pictures without words. But hey, it works well for kids' books right? I mean, a picture is worth a thousand words so that's like 10,000 words just flyin' off the page!

I love any store that uses the word "dealio" in it's ads!

Little bunny foo foo, Sitting in the driveway. If you don't move soon, I'll hit you with my car.

Bethany was avoiding going home until her husband had put the kids to bed so, for old-timey sake, we headed to Claim Jumpers and got dessert at 10 pm. Gone may be the days of Friday nights playing pool and getting serenaded by boys, but we'll always have our late night dessert runs!

$8.50 out-of-pocket for everything here. Thank you, thank you.

Okay, here's the deal. I am not scared of the dentist. I've had too much done with my teeth to be fazed by the novocain, drills and tiny round mirror. (Someone might not like to floss but I'm not naming any names.) I am, however, prone to freaking out at the dentist during 2 instances. 1. When doing something in my mouth, the dentist asks for "the flame shaper." I've said it before and I'll say it again- I firmly believe nothing in my mouth needs shaping by flame. 2. Halfway through a 90-minute appointment to take down and re-do an old buildup during a crown replacement procedure, the power goes out. I don't care if there is a backup generator. I don't care that the actual power came back on 10 minutes later, having the power go out mid-appointment will bring the scariest man at Singh-Singh to his knees. After the Nazi appointment (Nazi= evil), I was heading home when I noticed a stuffed animal on the roof of a local apartment. It made me won

I love getting free products in the mail! It's like Christmas in May! Today I got my full-sized new Hawaiian Tropic After Sun Cream Lotion, along with some samples and coupons. It's from this great site called SheSpeaks.com and sorry boys, it's only for women. (Even though I feel the name of the site should have indicated that, it's never safe to assume people aren't idiots.) You just register with the site, fill out a survey about your life, personality, likes/dislikes etc and they randomly send you offers about programs you can participate in. Once selected for a particular program they send you the item for free and you try it out. After you have formed an opinion about it, you log back on and fill out a survey about your findings. You can also talk about the product with other users, take polls etc. Super easy for free stuff! Now, if only the weather would cooperate so I can go out to the pool and actually TRY the lotion!!!

This is part of the local hospital campus. While waiting for a red light today I was reminded of the story from the last time I was at the hospital. (This is the part where Wayne and Garth drift across the screen, wiggling their fingers and making the 'diddleadoo' noise to indicate a flashback.) It was last fall and I had gone to a class at the hospital one evening as part of their outreach program. When I walked in I noticed it was actually an enormous room with two sets of doors and vendors lined up on either side. There were three sections worth of tables, each with about 15 rows of seats facing the front where the speakers would be addressing the audience. The first vendor was a local bakery whose specialty is gluten-free breads. I stopped and was looking at the breads, but decided I would get some water and a seat before I just took a loaf. So I picked a seat on the opposite side of the room in the very back row. Once I had set the bag of goodies they had given me at recep

I know it doesn't do much visually for anyone, but this "casserole" is 1. so yummy I'm gonna go all German on you and even claim it's UBER yummy 2. cheap 3. easy. It's also versatile and makes a lot but only 3 reasons are needed to be the unarguable trifecta so we're gonna have to save versatile and large for another day, sorry guys. My family actually makes this every Christmas morning, minus the asparagus and orange pepper (see? told you it was versatile). It's nice because it can cook while we open presents. I made it the other day because I had 18 eggs and a pound of sausage in the fridge. So, without further adeiu I give you: Some Weird Egg Casserole 1 lb ground sausage, whatever flavor you like 1 bag frozen tater tots (or Mexi-fries, if you live in the PNW) 8+ eggs Cheddar Cheese, shredded 1 tsp each Salt, Oregano,Pepper, thyme If you would like a more savory/dinnery casserole you can add the following: Chopped onion Chopped pepper, any color A

Happy Birthday Amanda! To honor you, I present a little blast from the past. A conversation between Amanda and myself from August 14, 2008. BIGFOOT So this is how my morning has gone so far: Amanda: Did you hear they found Bigfoot? Me: No. (crosses arms and raises eyebrows) Where did they find him? In the trunk along with Jesus on the way back from Mexico? Amanda: Ha. Ha. No, it's for real, it's all over the news. Me: Oh the Weekly World News? Right alongside a story about Batboy? Amanda: No! Look for yourself, it's all over. (Pulls up Google and looks at CNN. Nothing. MSNBC. Nothing. MSN Homepage. Nothing.) Well fine, I'll send you the link. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13577_3-10017102-36.html This started the IM portion of the conversation as I read this "article": Jamie sounds like a crazy advertising scheme amandafaith02 NO its real they have DNA Jamie for like a new mall or nascar stadium amandafaith02 and a BODY Jamie that noone c

Sometimes I feel like a ruh-tard. And, let's be honest, I'm not applying for Mensa anytime soon. And then there are those times where I wonder how the rest of the world got so stupid (I have this theory that involves a combination of the water supply, inbreeding and prolonged exposure to The Kardashians). Case in point: Digiorno Pizza and Breadsticks. I only bought it because I had a coupon that was expiring ($2 for pizza and breadsticks, hooray!) and I have to say it was decent for $2 but I don't think I would ever pay full price for it. Anyway, the pizza cooks for 20 minutes, the breadsticks for 14. Apparently, people dumber than the girl who answered the work phone "Tequilla!" because she was listening to the song can't quite figure out how to cook them so both are ready at the same time. Luckily, the people at Digiorno were nice enough to put instructions for them. "To enjoy the breadsticks with the pizza at the same time, bake pizza for 6 minutes

Carrie and I made a deal today at lunch. I went and got us food at Taco Del Mar and she went to Dairy Queen and picked up Blizzards. (Pregnant Carrie is quite convincing.) Later, as I was eating my chocolate-covered strawberry blizzard (best. blizzard. ever.) I heard a crunch. Having had extensive dental work in my life I immediately searched for signs of disaster. Pain? No. Tooth missing or cracked? No. Sifting through the chocolate I had been eating there was nothing. Hmm... "Well it must not have been part of the blizzard (which is a disturbing thought in it's own right)." Yep. Definitely not part of the blizzard. The next bite lifted my 12 year old temporarily-permanent crown off of one of my molars. Of course I don't have a regular dentist so had to look online for an emergency dentist that could get me in that afternoon. This is a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand, it's something that has needed to be done for a long time. That crown was neve

Douchebag (Urban Dictionary Definition): Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Douchebag (Jamie Definition): The guy who walked out of Target wearing a popped collar polo, gold chains and baggy khaki shorts, holding onto his orange, over-tanned girlfriend's waist and leading her to his car. Upon noticing me walking back from putting the cart away (all the while thinking BP must not have had an oil spill, this guy must have just washed his hair), he winks, does the head nod and the finger barrel gun before saying loudly "My BMW is over here." He then proceeds to get into his 15 year old BMW with said girlfriend, rev the engine and then cut me off. To the king of the douches, I salute you.

Today while walking back across the bridge from lunch I spotted something yellow on the ground. Upon closer inspection I realized it was a tiny, yellow sombrero. It was really too random to not take a photo of it.

Today was Aimee's last day at work. It was a very sad day, except it's nice to know we'll still see each other outside of work. Most of the office went out to lunch in her honor, and in fact there were so many people we ended up having to split up into 3 different tables. (Guess the concept of RSVP escapes everyone.) After we came back she was saying her goodbyes and was crying so wouldn't let me take a photo for picture of the day so I had to do the next best thing and draw a portrait of her and her unborn baby. I think it works. And maybe after I die my grandkids will be able to sell it for millions. I'm such a good grandma.

I know I went a little rain crazy last month (read: the rain sunk into my brain and caused momentary dillerium ), and for that I was almost kicked out of the Cool Kids of Seattle Club. Thankfully my dues are all paid up so they forgave my transgressions. Whew. Anyway, days like today are the exact reason why I don't mind all the rain. There is nothing better than spending a lazy Sunday chillin on a shady knoll. (Unless it's 1963 Dallas, and then shady knolls are the last place you want to be.)

-- This is my neice. This is my neice left alone in the car. This is my neice left alone in the car with my cell phone. This is why we don't leave 14 year olds alone in the car with our cell phones.

-- This is Bethany's tiny oven. (and Bethany with her pregnant belly) She can only put her baking pans in sideways, and a family-sized Papa Murphy's fits with the edges touching the sides. I think it's A) adorable and B) hilarious that someone who LIVES for baking has a tiny oven that doesn't seem large enough to function.

There is this great program through Crown Publishing where each month they give away copies of books not yet,or only recently, released. The copies are actually paperback, unproofed sample books that they use prior to final printing and distribution, but they look and read like a regular paperback book. It's kind of a cool program. There are always 3 books, and you can enter to win all 3 of them. If you sign up for their newsletter, they will also send you an email at the beginning of each month with details about the books available and links so you can fill out the entry form. Very convienent for people with a bad memory, haha. I won one of the choices last month, Jeanniemae and James,which is the story of James Newman (the mathmatician who first coined the term "googol" and author of The World of Mathmatics) and his black, illiterate nanny who used to "play the numbers". The story of their relationship seems to be interesting, however the book itself, wr

During our staff meeting last month, I mentioned we would be having our annual company 'salsa off' on Cinco de Mayo and that there would be games. One of the older, well-educated gentlemen we work with asked how many of us knew the real history of Cinco de Mayo and why we celebrated it. As history is his forte, he proceded to tell us a condensed version of the Battle of Pueblo, down to what the soldiers were paid to help Mexico defeat the French. After he finished the lesson, one of the other older, well-educated (well-meaning) coworkers looks at him and goes "That really happened? It's verifiable?" Nope. He just made a major battle up for the heck of it. I guess it's funnier if you were there, or knew them, but trust me, it was pretty funny. Earlier this week, I sent out a reminder email about our celebration and got an email back from Carrie, who works from home on Wednesdays and would be missing the festivities this year. "Really we should celebrat

Donut day at work and Jeff was nice enough to stop by Top Pot and pick up a couple dozen fresh donuts. I had a filled donut covered in powdered sugar which I ended up getting everywhere, including my keyboard. We made a joke about using a business card to line it up and snort it, which reminded me of a great childhood story. I grew up in the 80s. My siblings are 15, 12 and 4 years older than me so I was brought up with exposure to things my friends weren't, including MTV and HBO. I always thought the girls in the HBO movies were so cool with their giant shoulder pads, long, dangly earrings and vials of cocaine. Yep, I just said that. I obviously didn't understand what it was. All I knew was that the pretty, cool girls in the movies my family watched all had tiny vials of white stuff they would line up and snort. And I wanted to be a pretty, cool girl too. So at 5 years old I decided to start using my pixie sticks as mock coccaine. (My mother had something against lettin

For Earth Day, our office had a fun committee event. Honestly I don't even remember what it was or what we did, but I do know that it was my job to go to Whole Foods and pick up food and prizes for the winners of what was obviously the most exciting and fantabulous event EVER. One of the events we had planned involved getting soil and seeds and having everyone plant the seeds into these small biodegradable pots and have some kind of growing competition. It would have been a great idea had I remembered to pick up soil or seeds. (Don't judge me, I've already explained I'm getting stupider .) One of the prizes I had gotten was this Earth-friendly puzzle that was made with biodegradable pieces imbedded with wildflower seeds. After the initial event (where I had forgotten to give someone the puzzle.) (Do you see a theme?) I placed the puzzle in the kitchen and set out an email asking everyone to put it together whenever they had a break and afterwards we could use the p

That blob? The one in the middle of the picture with the circle around and an arrow pointing towards it? That would be cream cheese. A giant steel bowl FILLED with cream cheese. It's Shannon's dream come true. I drove down and took my mom out to Chinese for lunch. We stopped by this little hole in the wall close to her house and when we got there we were the only customers. Good thing we got there when we did because by the time we left, our stomach's sickingly bursting at the seams, there were 6 people. Definitely missed the lunch rush! When the waiter was not busy with the full house, he sat in a booth across the way, loading cream cheese into pastry for the rangoon. It was kind of fun watching him drop some in and quickly pinch it shut. At the same time, though, it was kind of disgusting looking at 30 pounds of cream cheese sitting on a table for an hour.

One of my thundersticks died. It just would not hold any air so as the minutes ticked by on the scoreboard, it would slowly start to fizzle out and I would find myself holding my hand further and further up. It reminded me of that scene in Robin Hood Men in Tights with Little John where their sticks keep breaking so they have to fight with tiny sticks by the end and just use them to flick each other on the knuckles. Except in my case, it started out as a thunderstick and ended up a thundertwig. Eh. At least they were free.

There is something about drag queens that makes it impossible not to smile. They are like clowns for adults (and I mean that in the most respectful way possible-to clowns and drag queens alike.) I will gladly go to any event held anywhere by anyone if they promise a man in a pink wig with fake ta-tas. Screw the nasty male strippers, for my bachelorette party I want drag queens and bingo!

Don't I have the cutest godson ever????

I heart the Soundwave. P.S. I am not the girl in this video, nor am I the person taking the video who is obviously very obsessed with the girl. I just think it's a cool version of The Uprising.

Canada tried to kill me. It tried to sneak into my intestines and rip them out little by little from pretty much any orifice possible. I woke up Sunday night with that terrible feeling of dread. You all know that feeling, where you realize something unnatural is going to occur and soon your pie-hole is going to become a pie-spigot for everything you have consumed in the previous twelve months? It is honestly the worst experience ever. The only thing which makes that event bearable is knowing that once it's over and done with you immediately feel better, but that was not the case this time. With this horrible Canadian bug all I felt was like getting up an hour later and doing it again. The only thing I managed to do Monday was lay in bed clutching my barf bucket and sleep, then get up to vomit. It took me two days to get down a half sleeve of saltines and can of chicken noodle soup. This is why I have decided we need to forget about border patrol and invest in a giant North American

Happy Birthday to You! You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey and you smell one too! What better way to show my love for my brother on his birthday than to post embarrasing childhood photos of him on my blog?

This week marks the end of the annual tulip festival in Snohomish County. Although I think the photos that come from it are gorgeous, I couldn't imagine going up every year or traveling from afar to visit it, even though I know plenty of people who do. I do think it's worth it to go up at some point though, they are really stunning when they are in full bloom.

I went up to Langley, B.C. today with my friend Bethany and her family to visit the new LDS temple. It was exciting for me simply because I fully realize that will be the only time in my life I'll ever get to see the inside of a Mormon temple. As someone who loves to explore different subsets of culture, it was fascinating to walk through something that is, once "Mormonized", completely off limits to the general public (and a good portion of their own church). (I also don't know what the ceremony is called that turns the temple from "open to the public" to "sacred" so "Mormonized" it is.) The drive up was actually pretty fun, even if it meant I had to get up at 6am to be at their house by 7. On a Saturday. A day when I fully believe 7am should not exist. The best part was as we approached the border the conversation turned to who in their family snored. Bethany swore she didn't snore, but Eric wasn't having any of that, so, usin

I was so excited yesterday about The Great Staples Falicy that I kind of skimmed over my mother's birthday. Since she taught me better than that, today's post is just for her. So once again, Happy Birthday Mom!!! My mom is the best mother that's ever lived, not that I'm biased or anything. She is nice and kind. Always giving, very warm-hearted (unless she is hungry or tired, and then she is some kind of crazed banshee and it's best to find a table or chair you can hide behind until she passes by). She is also quite funny in her own right, but noone let her know or she'll tell more jokes about mustard or about me giving her grandchildren (though that last one might not be a joke...). Plus she knows a lot of my secrets (including that one thing I made her do in the McDonald's parking lot that one time, but we don't talk about that). Bottom line is I love my mom very much and hope she had the best birthday ever!

In honor of Earth Day, Staples sent us our rolls of bubble wrap packaged in plastic air pockets. Captain Planet would be so disappointed. P.S. Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

This is the only picture of a cow I had on my hard drive, and it's actually from something my friend Krista sent me about cows who have been abducted by aliens. (Anywhoooo....) What it's doing on here, besides taking it's place as picture of the day because I apparently forgot to take a picture and it's a week later (zip it) is acting as the photographic representation of the documentary I watched; Food, Inc. It was very fascinating and slightly disturbing, but not for the same reasons it probably was to most people. For me, I already knew what sort of conditions our chickens and cows were subjected to. I have read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, I know farmers, I am well versed in that whole, for lack of a better word, "situation". And I can look the other way because when push comes to shove, I like meat. I enjoy throwing a chicken breast on the grill or making some cute boy buy me an overpriced steak at The Met (and yes, The Met will always kick El Gaucho

So. I apparently got a really good deal on all the stuff pictured here. I couldn't really tell you what I paid or break down how I did it (though I can tell you, it was with coupons!). This is probably why you aren't supposed to wait 8 days to post blogs while in the midst of a project like mine. Oops. And it's probably not an effective way to convince you all to coupon as truth be told I put the chips in my pantry and had completely forgotten about them until this evening when I just posted this. But, in my defense, what a way to diet! Step 1: Buy crappy food, like chips, for cheap. Step 2: Put in pantry. Step 3: Forget about chips. Step 4: Exercise. Lots of exercise (and water). Step 5: Lose weight. Step 6: Look so great in skinny jeans you don't feel the slightest bit upset at the money (albeit TINY bit of money) spent on crappy food, like chips.

Yep. I'm definitely getting stupider. Example #1: A few weekends ago I somehow got shampoo up my nose while showering. The following day I got toothpaste up the other nostril. Example #2: I recently gave myself a heart attack when I stepped on a piece of bubble wrap . Example #3: While getting gas the other day I committed the following infractions: * Parked too far back so moved car forward * Moving car forward resulted in my parking rightnext to the pole so I couldn't open my door * Moved car back and got out * Realized that gas tank is on the other side of my car (this is not a new or borrowed car, mind you) * Moved to other gas pump * Got out and realized I had parked too far forward * Had to hold gas pump tight so it would fit because I WAS NOT moving my car again! * Pushed "no" when asked if I wanted a receipt, forgetting that I have been trying to keep track of what all I spend my money on * Finish pumping gas and go to building to ask for a receipt * Walk arou

I didn't realize John Lithgow played in the MLS! Crazy!!

-- Really? So last season our Sounders season tickets were in the worst section in the entire stadium. Our section was filled with losers. Losers who apparently had two broken legs and suffered from laryingitis and a fear that if they clapped or cheered it would awaken demon spirits from Pandora's box. So we moved. We are in a much more fun section this year. People stand for all 90 minutes, they are loud and rambunctious. They jump up and down, clapping rythmically with the drum. The nice thing is my seat is on the very end of a row, and the row in front of us starts one seat over, so there is noone sitting in front of me, so when I get dizzy and start feeling sick (like today) or am just plain lazy, I can sit down and still see everything going on on the pitch. Except for the one minor detail that would be the jackasses in front of me. For some reason the 4 pompous alcoholics who sit in seats 1-4 one row closer to the field feel that standing in front of their own actual

Nothing says Summer (Okay, fine, SPRING) like bbq and lemonade.

I quite possibly just had a heart attack. After several weeks of slowly going through each box/bin/drawer/closet/cabinet in my house to declutterize, I am finally finished. I have a pile of boxes with items to take down to my parents house for their garage sale in the living room, along with some boxes I had emptied so broke them down and put them in the storage closet on my deck. A few even had bubble wrap in them, hooray! Like all Americans, I adore bubble wrap so it has really taken every ounce of will in my body to not sit there and pop it all. Today, I was putting the last of the "keep" bins back in the storage closet. I had to readjust my weight to push the tub up onto the shelf when suddenly there was a loud *Bang*, obviously the sound of a car backfiring. Even though I live in a pretty affluent area, that sound is very similar to a gunshot, so the natural instinct is to dive for cover. That, however, is not really an option when you are essentially holding a 20

-- Coming soon... Backstreet Boys in a box! Don't forget to look in your frozen food section for New Kids on the Block in original and tropical flavor!

Forget Japanese. I've eaten so many tacos I'm turning Mexican. Me: Dude Amanda: Dude! Me: Duuuuuuude! Amanda: Dude Where's my Car?!?!? Me: No more and then! Amanda: Mak! Wait...I'm gunninto that tune! Me: LSOMSFOAIDMT Amanda: All I gotta say is WTF? Me: Lauging so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco Amanda: Hahahahaha! LMAO Me: I thought you might like that Amanda: Are you kidding me? I LOVE IT! *PS, I had an actual picture from today but for some reason Blogger didn't want to upload it so I found this one. It will do.*

So I'm sure everyone is a bit sick of the Sounders pictures. And, although I aim to please, I'm really only interested in pleasing myself so you all are just gonna have to deal! :) (Hmm. That kind of sounded dirty. I didn't really mean it that way.) Today was the kind of day Ice Cube sang about only with fewer derogatory Goodyear blimp messages and references to guns. I live in Seattle, not South Central afterall. (Is it just me or does blimp look weird? It's kind of a weird word in general. Blimp. Bli-mp. Bliiiimp.) I got to get up early and drive into Seattle where I sat in a tiny studio in the back (really should have actually worn Sounders gear so I would have made it on the telly)(I also feel like this blog could use some more parantheses.)(But maybe that's just me.) and watch my husband be interviewed for the new local show. You can view some of the interview here . The tickets said something about how no pictures were allowed to be taken during the tapi