Wicked Smart

Man, this is taking forever.  I am determined to finish this series of posts before the one year anniversary of the trip! Let's see, where did we leave off?  Ah, yes, Ephesus.  Probably the hottest and busiest place in Turkey. It was the first stop of the day, however, getting there earlier meant nothing for avoiding the crowds or the sweltering heat.  The sun radiated off of all of the ruins and right back at us.  It is definitely a place you can get burned very quickly. The ruins of Ephesus start at the beginning of what was once the town.  There is a small amphitheater and then a stone street heading down the hill and surrounded (at one time) by the luxurious homes of the wealthy and privileged.  There isn't much left to look at; the rusted pipes they once used for plumbing, some mosaic flooring here, a column there. The house that is most intact is actually what was the community bath house.  This is where everyone would come to use the bathroom.

A few weeks ago, the internet ran amok with the veracity of moral outrage that only anonymous strangers protected by computer screens can muster.  Their target this time?  Shape Magazine , who had refused to publish a photo of blogger Brooke Birmingham.  Over several years Birmingham had lost an extraordinary 172 pounds, a journey she shared with her readers  on her blog “Brooke:Not on a Diet” .  Shape and Birmingham had reached an impasse after the magazine refused to publish her story with the photograph she had provided of herself in a bikini.  They had asked her to submit a new photo of her wearing a t-shirt and cited editorial policy as the reason. On May 8 th the blogger and Shape editor Bahar Takhtehchian  appeared together on The Today Show to announce that the magazine would move forward with her story and bikini photo, as well as adding 4 similar stories to create a feature that would highlight what happens after someone reaches their goal. “We want to start a lar

Well, ladies and germs, we have made it to Asia. Woo hoo!  I bet you thought this day would never happen! After crossing the Dardanelles we were in the Asian side of Turkey.  After an evening at the shittiest "5-star" resort I've ever spent the night in (Can we say "centipedes in the bed, crooked artwork and a 1980's Nintendo tv"?), we headed out to Troy. I was super excited for Troy, simply because of the amazing amount of history surrounding it.  Sadly, I am old and the only information that I can remember is that 1. The story of the wooden horse is 100% fiction.  They were actually able to infiltrate the city walls through a crack in the back wall, left by a significant earthquake.  2. No matter where in the world you are from, all people will laugh when the tour guide repeatedly says "They came in the back door." 3. Troy kept having to be rebuilt due to fires and earthquakes.  They would rebuild the new town on top of the existing ruins.

Breaking news! Cupcake has been kidnapped! Duh-duh-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh! The mystery for Cupcake intensified at lunch when a follow up note was delivered to Squirrel McStressalot's desk. Squirrel was very concerned about the welfare of her missing compadre so enlisted some help (aka me) to throw an impromptu bake sale to help raise the cash for the ransom. I present to you: Cupcakes for Cupcake. The cupcakes were actually quite delicious, if not a little too sweet, and the bake sale helped raise the funds necessary for her dog's safe return thanks to everyone's printers and knowledge of how to Google images of money. Someone even donated legal tender! That's support, right there. Unfortunately, another note was waiting for Squirrel at 4pm.... this time with a menacing ball of fluff! (Although I voted that it looked more like a bunny tail than doggy innards.) Finally, 5 o'clock arrived.  Time to make the exchange.  Squirrel hea

I feel I need to start this post with an apology to all my fellow Contiki Bootytangers.  I wasn't a very good tourmate.  I avoided hanging out with them and was way more quiet than I am in my normal life.  This had absolutely nothing to do with being shy (shy doesn't register in my personality).  It all had to do with being stuck on tour with one of the most vile human beings I've ever met.  I won't go into all the details but will give two examples. 1. She referred to our tour guide, Ahmet, as Mohammad the entire time (disrespectful and racist, all in one fell swoop!) 2. The day after an altercation she passed the time by putting stickers in my hair and throwing things at me, like a mother effin' child. I did meet some great people on tour and had fun with them, and actually once we boarded the cruise ship headed towards Greece I was SO much happier, simply because I wasn't stuck on a bus anymore with someone I spent the entire trip wishing would fa