I don't really get how a giant gold big foot is an effective Valentines Day marketing campaign but it's apparently the direction Albertsons is going in this year.
Okay, so I admit, I've been slacking on blogging. But in my defense, Jamieland has been quite boring, what with the snow, no hippie roommate or excess money floating around to buy entertainment. Oooh, that totally sounded like I buy hookers, which I do not. Buy PC entertainment. That won't give me an STD. Or a baby. Anyways...so since the last blog I have had a birthday. I am now 27. Which doesn't sound too bad to most people, but if you ask a 27 year old how that sounds, it sounds less like "twenty-seven" and more like "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!". A few weeks before my birthday I made the mistake of watching a 1970s science fiction film called "Logan's Run". It was actually entertaining. A bit campy but the majority of films in the 70s had cheese oozing out of every pore, in my opinion. The plot of the movie was simple, and mimicked the book closesly. It takes place in a future time when Earth is so overpopulated that new regulations ...
So this isn't my story but it was so freakin funny I had to share. It made me laugh so hard I had to share Ryan's brilliance with everyone. P.S. he's not retarded, he's Australian... An aside note before we get right into the story: why are the words "negligence" and "negligee" so similar? One is a very sexy concept, and the other is not. Are they built off another word that they are both kind of related to? All these questions and more can possibly be answered by either the shorter , the longer , or perhaps even the much fucking longer Oxford English Dictionary. Man, I wish I had $3000 and a bookshelf. Luckily, five pounds and an arse pocket will suffice. Here's what the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary had to say: NEGLIGEE: woman's lightweight, usu. lace-trimmed dressing gown. Hang on a second. Negligence is not in the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary. That's surprising. I would be very surprised if I ...
My Aunt gets all sorts of weird crap. I'm not exactly sure where she obtains it-she might purchase it (maybe for her grandkids?) but throughout the years, several items have filtered down the family tree and made their way into my hands. Now, I like tacky things to a point. I have a tiny wooden butler greeting visitors in the foyer of my apartment. There is a light-up Welcome to Las Vegas sign on my desk at work. I have a picture frame in the shape of 1950's glasses covered in fake jewels, given to me as a birthday present one year. The key to tacky is moderation. You need to sprinkle tacky throughout the home, surrounded by normal items. And at no point should you have a tacky fish platter or matching salt and pepper shakers from Macy's!!! This is the newest addition from my aunt. She technically gave it to my father, who, in turn, passed it on to me. I have no idea why he wouldn't want a guarenteed shot at the lottery, but his loss is my $441 Million Powerball...
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