Wicked Smart

Canada tried to kill me. It tried to sneak into my intestines and rip them out little by little from pretty much any orifice possible. I woke up Sunday night with that terrible feeling of dread. You all know that feeling, where you realize something unnatural is going to occur and soon your pie-hole is going to become a pie-spigot for everything you have consumed in the previous twelve months? It is honestly the worst experience ever. The only thing which makes that event bearable is knowing that once it's over and done with you immediately feel better, but that was not the case this time. With this horrible Canadian bug all I felt was like getting up an hour later and doing it again. The only thing I managed to do Monday was lay in bed clutching my barf bucket and sleep, then get up to vomit. It took me two days to get down a half sleeve of saltines and can of chicken noodle soup. This is why I have decided we need to forget about border patrol and invest in a giant North American...

I went up to Langley, B.C. today with my friend Bethany and her family to visit the new LDS temple. It was exciting for me simply because I fully realize that will be the only time in my life I'll ever get to see the inside of a Mormon temple. As someone who loves to explore different subsets of culture, it was fascinating to walk through something that is, once "Mormonized", completely off limits to the general public (and a good portion of their own church). (I also don't know what the ceremony is called that turns the temple from "open to the public" to "sacred" so "Mormonized" it is.) The drive up was actually pretty fun, even if it meant I had to get up at 6am to be at their house by 7. On a Saturday. A day when I fully believe 7am should not exist. The best part was as we approached the border the conversation turned to who in their family snored. Bethany swore she didn't snore, but Eric wasn't having any of that, so, usin...

Sent at 3:09 PM on Wednesday beneruler: i am seriously freeeeeezing Linda: oh no swine flu swine flu you are infected! beneruler: no i think it has more to do with the fact its like negative 32 degrees with a windchill factor of 7 degrees in here Linda: no i don't think so i'm not that cold beneruler: well that's cause you are weird aka canadian Linda: no beneruler: its colder up there so you are acclimated Linda: i don't think so i think you are infected with swine flu beneruler: no i believe it is Linda: swine flu for golden van beneruler: canadian acclimation for mrs. perry Linda: nope not true beneruler: more true than swine flu Linda: Grippe de porcs pour toi fourgon d'or. beneruler: i do not have swine flu! Linda: swine flu golden van beneruler: nein Linda: oui Sent at 3:56 PM on Wednesday beneruler: Je n'ai pas de grippe de Cochon. Vous êtes acclimatés pour apprécier le temps froid où vous pouvez jouer le fait de friser et le hockey. Linda: I do not have ...