It's the end of the world as we know it



*Feedback, and then a voice comes over the loudspeaker*

"And now-now-now, for the first time ever-ever-ever on this blog-blog-blog, a recipe-pe-pe..."

Melodramatic? Never!

This recipe is absolutely worthy of such acclaim, such pomp AND circumstance, such astounding appreciation that Paula Deen and Tyler Florence should kneel down and worship at the alter of it.

Hmm.

I guess Paula Deen wouldn't as it doesn't include any butter. But Tyler Florence could totally worship it. In fact, there is no reason he shouldn't. You know, it kind of burns my butt he isn't lighting a candle now! What a jerk!

Take 8oz of cream cheese. Never use light cream cheese as that's an abomination to all that Philadelphia Cream Cheese stands for. Unless you are a certain somebody who eats cream cheese like it's going to be pulled from the shelves and rationed like WWII tin metal tomorrow. In that case, PLEASE use light cream cheese as I don't have a cute enough black dress right now to wear to the funeral after your heart explodes, coating everything in schmear. Schmear your bagel, not your friends.

What was I doing? Oh yeah, back to the recipe.

8 oz of cream cheese. Mix that with 1/4 cup sugar, somewhere around 1/8 of a cup of honey and 1 1/2 tsp vanilla. Use ONLY 1 1/2 tsp vanilla. Anymore and the entire world will come crumbling down around you. (Huh, I just realized this is a very apocalyptic recipe.) Pour this precisely measured hodgepodge of creamy goodness into a pre-baked pie crust (I actually think it would be more tasty in a graham cracker crust but I had a pie crust I had to use so for the purposes of this blog a graham cracker crust would be just nutty!) Top with sliced fresh strawberries and slivered almonds. Place in the refrigerator and chill for at least an hour but preferably longer. Perhaps watch The Shawshank Redemption or play a game of badmition with your children. Then your pie/tart/cheesy concoction will be awesomely deliscious AND you will be a better parent! Brilliant!

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