I thought false advertising was illegal



"Look Jeff! Finger condoms!"

So tonight was the bi-annual company bowling event. Last time we held this, there were almost 40 people that ended up tryin to squeeze onto 5 lanes. This time around...there were 13. And 3 of them were kids!

I showed up early to do the whole paperwork/payment thing and noticed at the shoe rental counter there were these foil packages that said something about protecting your fingers from the bowling ball holes, in case you were worried about who used the ball last. The picture was not very helpful at removing my mind from the gutter (the gutter-get it???? bowling! gutter! hahaha!)and since they were only 3 for $1 I had to buy them.

Jeff showed up next and I had to tell him about my crazy find. I mean, really, who expects tiny finger condoms? And wouldn't they be hard to keep on your fingers as your hurl a 10+ lb ball down the lane? Jeff and I thought they were hilarious and he snapped a few pictures of the packages for the office bowling event folder.

And then we opened them.

Tiny finger condoms they were not.

They were, in fact, just antiseptic wipes.

I have to say, nothing is quite as disappointing as expecting little prophylactics for your digits and finding amonia-soaked wipes instead.

I want my dollar back.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pass the Metamuscil

Okay, so I admit, I've been slacking on blogging. But in my defense, Jamieland has been quite boring, what with the snow, no hippie roommate or excess money floating around to buy entertainment. Oooh, that totally sounded like I buy hookers, which I do not. Buy PC entertainment. That won't give me an STD. Or a baby. Anyways...so since the last blog I have had a birthday. I am now 27. Which doesn't sound too bad to most people, but if you ask a 27 year old how that sounds, it sounds less like "twenty-seven" and more like "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!". A few weeks before my birthday I made the mistake of watching a 1970s science fiction film called "Logan's Run". It was actually entertaining. A bit campy but the majority of films in the 70s had cheese oozing out of every pore, in my opinion. The plot of the movie was simple, and mimicked the book closesly. It takes place in a future time when Earth is so overpopulated that new regulations
Read more

Scrabble, Google and Aussies

So this isn't my story but it was so freakin funny I had to share. It made me laugh so hard I had to share Ryan's brilliance with everyone. P.S. he's not retarded, he's Australian... An aside note before we get right into the story: why are the words "negligence" and "negligee" so similar? One is a very sexy concept, and the other is not. Are they built off another word that they are both kind of related to? All these questions and more can possibly be answered by either the shorter , the longer , or perhaps even the much fucking longer Oxford English Dictionary. Man, I wish I had $3000 and a bookshelf. Luckily, five pounds and an arse pocket will suffice. Here's what the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary had to say: NEGLIGEE: woman's lightweight, usu. lace-trimmed dressing gown. Hang on a second. Negligence is not in the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary. That's surprising. I would be very surprised if I
Read more

Scary Stuff

Image
I quite possibly just had a heart attack. After several weeks of slowly going through each box/bin/drawer/closet/cabinet in my house to declutterize, I am finally finished. I have a pile of boxes with items to take down to my parents house for their garage sale in the living room, along with some boxes I had emptied so broke them down and put them in the storage closet on my deck. A few even had bubble wrap in them, hooray! Like all Americans, I adore bubble wrap so it has really taken every ounce of will in my body to not sit there and pop it all. Today, I was putting the last of the "keep" bins back in the storage closet. I had to readjust my weight to push the tub up onto the shelf when suddenly there was a loud *Bang*, obviously the sound of a car backfiring. Even though I live in a pretty affluent area, that sound is very similar to a gunshot, so the natural instinct is to dive for cover. That, however, is not really an option when you are essentially holding a 20
Read more