Loss and Nipples - What a Week!

Pardon my French, but this week has sucked like a cheerleader on prom night.  This week has been an epic failure on a colossal level; one so big only a trip to DSW and a German Chocolate cupcake can turn it around.  I know, I know, those are ridiculous pick-me-ups but, in all honesty, this week has been terrible in only the most first-world-problems of ways.  But I still can't wait for it to be over!

I have suffered three (3!) losses this week.  I guess the ambiguous league of people who say stuff that is repeated as fact were correct, it really does come in threes.  

First, I lost my favorite Sounder. Roger Levesque has been my go-to Sounder for several years now.  He has been with the team for 9 seasons and made the transition from USL to MLS with his mustache in tact.         He has always been a fan favorite for his awesome facial hair, pleasant demeanor and underdog position on the team.  Critics have always questioned his speed, tactical skills and agility, but for those of us who look for more than perfect feet in a "foremidfender", we knew we had a winner in our midst.  

Nothing tragic happened to #24, he simply felt the need to retire and move on to grad school, hopefully eventually ending up in a non-profit organization.  He actually seems at peace with his decision and grateful for the opportunities he has had over the last 9 years, yet another reason to love him.  BUT that doesn't mean I can't still mourn the loss, especially considering they can't seem to hire ONE hot soccer player.  C'mon! How hard is it to get some six pack abs and a pretty face in those rave green kits???  AND if that's not enough, his final game was the friendly against Chelsea, a team I have seen play before, so I sold my tickets before knowing he was leaving. Seriously, you miss one game and suddenly you're out of players to root for!  If that's not ironic, I don't know what is.  (But I do not it's not rain on your wedding day, that's just Seattle.)

My second loss is slightly more tragic, slightly less tragic, but all together depressing.  The loss of Batman (the trilogy, not the actual superhero.  There is only one MINOR spoiler ahead, so if you haven't seen it yet, first of all stop reading my blog and run to the nearest movie theater, and second of all, you might want to skip ahead to the next section, but it's not a major plot point so if you do keep reading, it shouldn't ruin the film for you).

First a small background detour.  I don't read comic books.  I honestly don't understand why they are called "books" anyway.  They are little colorful magazines.  My TV experience with comic-books-turned-animated-programming is limited to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the only time as a child I ever watched Batman was the old Adam West reruns (Bang! Pop! Kaplow!).  I HATE the 90's franchise of Batman.  The campy, colorful, over-the-top cheesiness of it all was too much to take.  Batman is a dark character; his parents murdered on the street, his life filled with a large, empty mansion and loads of money and spent saving a city that seems completely bi-polar on whether they love or despise his vigilante justice?  That sort of depth and despair does not call for nipples on the bat suit (George, I'm lookin' at you!).   

When Christopher Nolan began directing the newest Batman trilogy, I was thrilled.  I love that it is dark and dank and dour and, quite frankly, kick ass.  Mind you, I don't love everything about it.  Christian Bale's voice as Batman makes me laugh, I am usually disappointed in the female leads in the film, whether it's character or performance related, and I am not a fan of overly lengthy films, even if they are mindless fun.  But nevertheless, I love this trilogy and was SO excited to see The Dark Knight Rises this evening. 

Now, I am not going to address the Aurora, Colorado tragedy, I don't think it's relevant to my pointless white girl suburban blogging.  I am also not going to write a review other than to say (****SPOILER ALERT!!!!*****) Fucking Robin!!!, but what I am going to say is that I am going to miss this franchise.  It was a good run, and we had some good times.  It will be missed.  I am sure there are going to be countless other movies and movie franchises that capture my interest, but, sitting here, tonight, I will wallow in my despair at the loss of a fake hero whose voice annoys me.

My last loss is actually a great loss.  And by great I mean good.  Like yippee, wahoo, hooray, allllriiiiiiight! I am down 6 lbs!  (Hooray!) BUT, this wouldn't be a proper bitching blog if I was unable to muster up a complaint, now would it?  True, I have lost 6 lbs, but the cost has been great.  Not only was I so hungry today following my diet that I ordered a grilled cheese with bacon and french fries at the movie (and then proceeded to eat it ALL) but I injured myself during last night's workout.  And by injure myself, I mean left my legs feeling like Jello.  Assuming, of course, that a body comprised of Jello feels something like you set your quads on fire every time you step, go from sitting to standing (or vice versa) or try to walk up or down stairs, and ends with you doing the math to figure out if you chop your quads off and resew your knees to your pelvis, would that remove enough height that you become a legal midget.   

And so, in conclusion, first-world-loss is minor, Batman needs nipples like I need another grilled cheese, and a body made of Jello is nothin but pain.  Hopefully next week is less shit, more hit...