Wicked Smart

I love any store that uses the word "dealio" in it's ads!

Little bunny foo foo, Sitting in the driveway. If you don't move soon, I'll hit you with my car.

Bethany was avoiding going home until her husband had put the kids to bed so, for old-timey sake, we headed to Claim Jumpers and got dessert at 10 pm. Gone may be the days of Friday nights playing pool and getting serenaded by boys, but we'll always have our late night dessert runs!

$8.50 out-of-pocket for everything here. Thank you, thank you.

Okay, here's the deal. I am not scared of the dentist. I've had too much done with my teeth to be fazed by the novocain, drills and tiny round mirror. (Someone might not like to floss but I'm not naming any names.) I am, however, prone to freaking out at the dentist during 2 instances. 1. When doing something in my mouth, the dentist asks for "the flame shaper." I've said it before and I'll say it again- I firmly believe nothing in my mouth needs shaping by flame. 2. Halfway through a 90-minute appointment to take down and re-do an old buildup during a crown replacement procedure, the power goes out. I don't care if there is a backup generator. I don't care that the actual power came back on 10 minutes later, having the power go out mid-appointment will bring the scariest man at Singh-Singh to his knees. After the Nazi appointment (Nazi= evil), I was heading home when I noticed a stuffed animal on the roof of a local apartment. It made me won...

I love getting free products in the mail! It's like Christmas in May! Today I got my full-sized new Hawaiian Tropic After Sun Cream Lotion, along with some samples and coupons. It's from this great site called SheSpeaks.com and sorry boys, it's only for women. (Even though I feel the name of the site should have indicated that, it's never safe to assume people aren't idiots.) You just register with the site, fill out a survey about your life, personality, likes/dislikes etc and they randomly send you offers about programs you can participate in. Once selected for a particular program they send you the item for free and you try it out. After you have formed an opinion about it, you log back on and fill out a survey about your findings. You can also talk about the product with other users, take polls etc. Super easy for free stuff! Now, if only the weather would cooperate so I can go out to the pool and actually TRY the lotion!!!

This is part of the local hospital campus. While waiting for a red light today I was reminded of the story from the last time I was at the hospital. (This is the part where Wayne and Garth drift across the screen, wiggling their fingers and making the 'diddleadoo' noise to indicate a flashback.) It was last fall and I had gone to a class at the hospital one evening as part of their outreach program. When I walked in I noticed it was actually an enormous room with two sets of doors and vendors lined up on either side. There were three sections worth of tables, each with about 15 rows of seats facing the front where the speakers would be addressing the audience. The first vendor was a local bakery whose specialty is gluten-free breads. I stopped and was looking at the breads, but decided I would get some water and a seat before I just took a loaf. So I picked a seat on the opposite side of the room in the very back row. Once I had set the bag of goodies they had given me at recep...

I know it doesn't do much visually for anyone, but this "casserole" is 1. so yummy I'm gonna go all German on you and even claim it's UBER yummy 2. cheap 3. easy. It's also versatile and makes a lot but only 3 reasons are needed to be the unarguable trifecta so we're gonna have to save versatile and large for another day, sorry guys. My family actually makes this every Christmas morning, minus the asparagus and orange pepper (see? told you it was versatile). It's nice because it can cook while we open presents. I made it the other day because I had 18 eggs and a pound of sausage in the fridge. So, without further adeiu I give you: Some Weird Egg Casserole 1 lb ground sausage, whatever flavor you like 1 bag frozen tater tots (or Mexi-fries, if you live in the PNW) 8+ eggs Cheddar Cheese, shredded 1 tsp each Salt, Oregano,Pepper, thyme If you would like a more savory/dinnery casserole you can add the following: Chopped onion Chopped pepper, any color A...

Happy Birthday Amanda! To honor you, I present a little blast from the past. A conversation between Amanda and myself from August 14, 2008. BIGFOOT So this is how my morning has gone so far: Amanda: Did you hear they found Bigfoot? Me: No. (crosses arms and raises eyebrows) Where did they find him? In the trunk along with Jesus on the way back from Mexico? Amanda: Ha. Ha. No, it's for real, it's all over the news. Me: Oh the Weekly World News? Right alongside a story about Batboy? Amanda: No! Look for yourself, it's all over. (Pulls up Google and looks at CNN. Nothing. MSNBC. Nothing. MSN Homepage. Nothing.) Well fine, I'll send you the link. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13577_3-10017102-36.html This started the IM portion of the conversation as I read this "article": Jamie sounds like a crazy advertising scheme amandafaith02 NO its real they have DNA Jamie for like a new mall or nascar stadium amandafaith02 and a BODY Jamie that noone c...

Sometimes I feel like a ruh-tard. And, let's be honest, I'm not applying for Mensa anytime soon. And then there are those times where I wonder how the rest of the world got so stupid (I have this theory that involves a combination of the water supply, inbreeding and prolonged exposure to The Kardashians). Case in point: Digiorno Pizza and Breadsticks. I only bought it because I had a coupon that was expiring ($2 for pizza and breadsticks, hooray!) and I have to say it was decent for $2 but I don't think I would ever pay full price for it. Anyway, the pizza cooks for 20 minutes, the breadsticks for 14. Apparently, people dumber than the girl who answered the work phone "Tequilla!" because she was listening to the song can't quite figure out how to cook them so both are ready at the same time. Luckily, the people at Digiorno were nice enough to put instructions for them. "To enjoy the breadsticks with the pizza at the same time, bake pizza for 6 minutes...

Carrie and I made a deal today at lunch. I went and got us food at Taco Del Mar and she went to Dairy Queen and picked up Blizzards. (Pregnant Carrie is quite convincing.) Later, as I was eating my chocolate-covered strawberry blizzard (best. blizzard. ever.) I heard a crunch. Having had extensive dental work in my life I immediately searched for signs of disaster. Pain? No. Tooth missing or cracked? No. Sifting through the chocolate I had been eating there was nothing. Hmm... "Well it must not have been part of the blizzard (which is a disturbing thought in it's own right)." Yep. Definitely not part of the blizzard. The next bite lifted my 12 year old temporarily-permanent crown off of one of my molars. Of course I don't have a regular dentist so had to look online for an emergency dentist that could get me in that afternoon. This is a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand, it's something that has needed to be done for a long time. That crown was neve...

Douchebag (Urban Dictionary Definition): Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Douchebag (Jamie Definition): The guy who walked out of Target wearing a popped collar polo, gold chains and baggy khaki shorts, holding onto his orange, over-tanned girlfriend's waist and leading her to his car. Upon noticing me walking back from putting the cart away (all the while thinking BP must not have had an oil spill, this guy must have just washed his hair), he winks, does the head nod and the finger barrel gun before saying loudly "My BMW is over here." He then proceeds to get into his 15 year old BMW with said girlfriend, rev the engine and then cut me off. To the king of the douches, I salute you.

Today while walking back across the bridge from lunch I spotted something yellow on the ground. Upon closer inspection I realized it was a tiny, yellow sombrero. It was really too random to not take a photo of it.

Today was Aimee's last day at work. It was a very sad day, except it's nice to know we'll still see each other outside of work. Most of the office went out to lunch in her honor, and in fact there were so many people we ended up having to split up into 3 different tables. (Guess the concept of RSVP escapes everyone.) After we came back she was saying her goodbyes and was crying so wouldn't let me take a photo for picture of the day so I had to do the next best thing and draw a portrait of her and her unborn baby. I think it works. And maybe after I die my grandkids will be able to sell it for millions. I'm such a good grandma.

I know I went a little rain crazy last month (read: the rain sunk into my brain and caused momentary dillerium ), and for that I was almost kicked out of the Cool Kids of Seattle Club. Thankfully my dues are all paid up so they forgave my transgressions. Whew. Anyway, days like today are the exact reason why I don't mind all the rain. There is nothing better than spending a lazy Sunday chillin on a shady knoll. (Unless it's 1963 Dallas, and then shady knolls are the last place you want to be.)

-- This is my neice. This is my neice left alone in the car. This is my neice left alone in the car with my cell phone. This is why we don't leave 14 year olds alone in the car with our cell phones.

-- This is Bethany's tiny oven. (and Bethany with her pregnant belly) She can only put her baking pans in sideways, and a family-sized Papa Murphy's fits with the edges touching the sides. I think it's A) adorable and B) hilarious that someone who LIVES for baking has a tiny oven that doesn't seem large enough to function.

There is this great program through Crown Publishing where each month they give away copies of books not yet,or only recently, released. The copies are actually paperback, unproofed sample books that they use prior to final printing and distribution, but they look and read like a regular paperback book. It's kind of a cool program. There are always 3 books, and you can enter to win all 3 of them. If you sign up for their newsletter, they will also send you an email at the beginning of each month with details about the books available and links so you can fill out the entry form. Very convienent for people with a bad memory, haha. I won one of the choices last month, Jeanniemae and James,which is the story of James Newman (the mathmatician who first coined the term "googol" and author of The World of Mathmatics) and his black, illiterate nanny who used to "play the numbers". The story of their relationship seems to be interesting, however the book itself, wr...

During our staff meeting last month, I mentioned we would be having our annual company 'salsa off' on Cinco de Mayo and that there would be games. One of the older, well-educated gentlemen we work with asked how many of us knew the real history of Cinco de Mayo and why we celebrated it. As history is his forte, he proceded to tell us a condensed version of the Battle of Pueblo, down to what the soldiers were paid to help Mexico defeat the French. After he finished the lesson, one of the other older, well-educated (well-meaning) coworkers looks at him and goes "That really happened? It's verifiable?" Nope. He just made a major battle up for the heck of it. I guess it's funnier if you were there, or knew them, but trust me, it was pretty funny. Earlier this week, I sent out a reminder email about our celebration and got an email back from Carrie, who works from home on Wednesdays and would be missing the festivities this year. "Really we should celebrat...

Donut day at work and Jeff was nice enough to stop by Top Pot and pick up a couple dozen fresh donuts. I had a filled donut covered in powdered sugar which I ended up getting everywhere, including my keyboard. We made a joke about using a business card to line it up and snort it, which reminded me of a great childhood story. I grew up in the 80s. My siblings are 15, 12 and 4 years older than me so I was brought up with exposure to things my friends weren't, including MTV and HBO. I always thought the girls in the HBO movies were so cool with their giant shoulder pads, long, dangly earrings and vials of cocaine. Yep, I just said that. I obviously didn't understand what it was. All I knew was that the pretty, cool girls in the movies my family watched all had tiny vials of white stuff they would line up and snort. And I wanted to be a pretty, cool girl too. So at 5 years old I decided to start using my pixie sticks as mock coccaine. (My mother had something against lettin...

For Earth Day, our office had a fun committee event. Honestly I don't even remember what it was or what we did, but I do know that it was my job to go to Whole Foods and pick up food and prizes for the winners of what was obviously the most exciting and fantabulous event EVER. One of the events we had planned involved getting soil and seeds and having everyone plant the seeds into these small biodegradable pots and have some kind of growing competition. It would have been a great idea had I remembered to pick up soil or seeds. (Don't judge me, I've already explained I'm getting stupider .) One of the prizes I had gotten was this Earth-friendly puzzle that was made with biodegradable pieces imbedded with wildflower seeds. After the initial event (where I had forgotten to give someone the puzzle.) (Do you see a theme?) I placed the puzzle in the kitchen and set out an email asking everyone to put it together whenever they had a break and afterwards we could use the p...

That blob? The one in the middle of the picture with the circle around and an arrow pointing towards it? That would be cream cheese. A giant steel bowl FILLED with cream cheese. It's Shannon's dream come true. I drove down and took my mom out to Chinese for lunch. We stopped by this little hole in the wall close to her house and when we got there we were the only customers. Good thing we got there when we did because by the time we left, our stomach's sickingly bursting at the seams, there were 6 people. Definitely missed the lunch rush! When the waiter was not busy with the full house, he sat in a booth across the way, loading cream cheese into pastry for the rangoon. It was kind of fun watching him drop some in and quickly pinch it shut. At the same time, though, it was kind of disgusting looking at 30 pounds of cream cheese sitting on a table for an hour.

One of my thundersticks died. It just would not hold any air so as the minutes ticked by on the scoreboard, it would slowly start to fizzle out and I would find myself holding my hand further and further up. It reminded me of that scene in Robin Hood Men in Tights with Little John where their sticks keep breaking so they have to fight with tiny sticks by the end and just use them to flick each other on the knuckles. Except in my case, it started out as a thunderstick and ended up a thundertwig. Eh. At least they were free.