Stupid is as Stupid Does

I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent individual, however, sometimes I'm pretty sure I might just be the dumbest person alive.  It is those little moments that make me question how I don't drool on myself more that probably make me laugh the hardest. 

Recently I was listening to Pandora when a song by Flo Rida came on.  I instant messaged a friend of mine and said "I like Flo Rida."  It was in that moment, typing the name FLO RIDA that I put it together.  

"Holy shit, is Flo Rida from Florida!?!" I exclaimed. 

I am an idiot.

Sure enough, there it is on all of his album covers...the state of Florida acting as the letter F in his name.  I guess I am so used to Pitbull (you know, Mr. Worldwide) announcing he's from Miami, Dade County, Florida in EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. that I became too oblivious to realize when someone quite literally has the state as their name!!

I had another musical moment of stupidity in December while singing the song Caroling, Caroling.  Although it's not my favorite song I like it well enough to sing along whenever it's on. One line that has always tripped me up though is "monkey weather song we sing".  I figured it wasn't actually monkey weather since I don't actually know what monkey weather is or why it would have anything to do with Christmas but I had been singing it that way for so long that when someone sang the correct lyric of "Mark ye well the song we sing." I was completely dumbfounded.  I feel like I should get a stupidity pass on this one though since no one would ever actually say "mark ye well".  I would bet money that in a Family Feud poll of 100 people, the winning number of folks would say "monkey weather" many more times than they would ever say "mark ye well"...what does that even mean?? At least my version includes a monkey.  I win.

Sounders games are known for loud, boisterous chanting.  One in particular features a callback, "We are the blue (we are the blue!), we are the green (we are the green!)..."  A good friend of mine could never figure out exactly what they were saying so would proudly scream out "Boomdiata boomdiata!" anytime the cheer would start.  It was almost too funny to correct.

She also had an amazing moment of misunderstanding where two friends were going on vacation.  "Why are you vacationing at church and Kinkos?" she implored.  Once the laughter subsided they explained they were actually going to forgo church and Kinkos and instead hit up Turks and Caicos.  At least I'm not alone on my short bus.

I actually think I got my helmet and matching elbow and knee pads from my mom.  God bless her adorable heart.  While discussing an episode of Who Do You Think You Are? featuring Zooey Deschanel's abolitionist family's background my Mom got quiet and then asked "That's all well and good but why did they keep talking about her family being abolitionists? Who cares if they lived in the mountains?" 

Uh, no mommy, that would be Appalachian. Bonus points for knowing east coast mountain ranges though!

One of my all-time favorite Mom-isms was a birthday present I received a few years ago. I had asked for a specific book by a specific author.  What I opened was a book with the same title but a different author.  I looked at her and said it was the wrong book, expecting her to be surprised or at least apologetic.  

What I got instead was a matter-of-fact "I know."

"Why did you give me the wrong book then?"

"It had the same name, I thought it would be fine."

"You know Mom, books are pretty specific.  It needs to be the same book by the same author."

"It was the same title.  Read it, you might like it."

*Blank stare followed by a shaking of the head. *

Sometimes, you may be smarter, but you'll never be right. (And for the record, I have never read it...)