Scrabble, Google and Aussies
So this isn't my story but it was so freakin funny I had to share. It made me laugh so hard I had to share Ryan's brilliance with everyone. P.S. he's not retarded, he's Australian...
An aside note before we get right into the story: why are the words "negligence" and "negligee" so similar? One is a very sexy concept, and the other is not. Are they built off another word that they are both kind of related to? All these questions and more can possibly be answered by either the shorter, the longer, or perhaps even the much fucking longer Oxford English Dictionary. Man, I wish I had $3000 and a bookshelf. Luckily, five pounds and an arse pocket will suffice.
Here's what the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary had to say:
NEGLIGEE: woman's lightweight, usu. lace-trimmed dressing gown.
Hang on a second. Negligence is not in the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary. That's surprising. I would be very surprised if I ever actually had the right letters for that word, but I thought it would at least be in the list of accepted words. I was expecting to read something along the lines of "failure to act with the prudence that a reasonable person would exercise under the same circumstances". For example: "The people who wrote the Scrabble Dictionary overlooked the word negligence. That's so freaking negligent."
But on the other hand, they didn't include a meaning for the word "ch". That's one of the one hundred and twenty two-letter words that nobody has ever heard of that are nevertheless acceptable in a game of Scrabble. "Learn the Two-Letter Words" is tip number one on Scrabble.com. And yet they fail to include a definition of "ch" in the book. You won't even find it in the even shorter, ockerer Australian Oxford Dictionary. Even Google doesn't know for sure.
It's a shame. I always thought Google would be fun to play Scrabble against, but not knowing the definition of ch made me wonder.
Google: Hello?
Ryan: Hey man, it's Ryan. How've you been?
Google: Ryan who?
Ryan: Monro. Google me.
Google: Oh right, yeah I remember. The water pistol guy.
Ryan: Old school. Anyway, how've you been?
Google: Busy.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.
Google: I doubt it.
Ryan: No, really. I have. I've been tagging the bejesus out of all the blogs on the new website.
Google: I know.
Ryan: Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot. You probably noticed.
Google: Yes. That's my job.
Ryan: Sorry man I forgot you know everything as soon as it happens.
Google: Oh shit, another 400,000 websites just came into existence. I gotta go.
Ryan: Oh just quickly, I'm having some people over for Scrabble tonight. You in?
Google: Well thanks for the invite, but honestly, it wouldn't be much fun for anyone involved. I have a cache of the entire world wide web. I know it back to front. According to a 2006 estimate I consist of over 450,000 servers. I know everything anybody else knows. I don't care if Gary Kasparov and Derryn Hinch are at the table, I'll beat them in 0.13 seconds.
Ryan: Oh yeah? Well what does ch mean?
Google: People ask me that all the time. I don't know what it means. That doesn't mean I can't use it in Scrabble.
Ryan: That's true. Are you sure you don't know what ch means?
Google: It's the top-level domain name for Switzerland.
Ryan: That doesn't make it a word. The domain for Australia is au. That's not a two-letter word.
Google: Aa, ab, ad, ae, ag, ah, ai, al, ar, aw, ax and ay. Shit, you're right. So what the fuck does ch mean then?
Ryan: No idea.
Google: I just know that http://www.mattelscrabble.com/en/adults/tips/tip1.html says that ch can be useful for creating parallel plays or squeezing in a good play on a blocked board. I also know that you just linked to that page too.
Ryan: Wow, you're good.
An aside note before we get right into the story: why are the words "negligence" and "negligee" so similar? One is a very sexy concept, and the other is not. Are they built off another word that they are both kind of related to? All these questions and more can possibly be answered by either the shorter, the longer, or perhaps even the much fucking longer Oxford English Dictionary. Man, I wish I had $3000 and a bookshelf. Luckily, five pounds and an arse pocket will suffice.
Here's what the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary had to say:
NEGLIGEE: woman's lightweight, usu. lace-trimmed dressing gown.
Hang on a second. Negligence is not in the Collins Gem pocket-size Scrabble Dictionary. That's surprising. I would be very surprised if I ever actually had the right letters for that word, but I thought it would at least be in the list of accepted words. I was expecting to read something along the lines of "failure to act with the prudence that a reasonable person would exercise under the same circumstances". For example: "The people who wrote the Scrabble Dictionary overlooked the word negligence. That's so freaking negligent."
But on the other hand, they didn't include a meaning for the word "ch". That's one of the one hundred and twenty two-letter words that nobody has ever heard of that are nevertheless acceptable in a game of Scrabble. "Learn the Two-Letter Words" is tip number one on Scrabble.com. And yet they fail to include a definition of "ch" in the book. You won't even find it in the even shorter, ockerer Australian Oxford Dictionary. Even Google doesn't know for sure.
It's a shame. I always thought Google would be fun to play Scrabble against, but not knowing the definition of ch made me wonder.
Google: Hello?
Ryan: Hey man, it's Ryan. How've you been?
Google: Ryan who?
Ryan: Monro. Google me.
Google: Oh right, yeah I remember. The water pistol guy.
Ryan: Old school. Anyway, how've you been?
Google: Busy.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.
Google: I doubt it.
Ryan: No, really. I have. I've been tagging the bejesus out of all the blogs on the new website.
Google: I know.
Ryan: Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot. You probably noticed.
Google: Yes. That's my job.
Ryan: Sorry man I forgot you know everything as soon as it happens.
Google: Oh shit, another 400,000 websites just came into existence. I gotta go.
Ryan: Oh just quickly, I'm having some people over for Scrabble tonight. You in?
Google: Well thanks for the invite, but honestly, it wouldn't be much fun for anyone involved. I have a cache of the entire world wide web. I know it back to front. According to a 2006 estimate I consist of over 450,000 servers. I know everything anybody else knows. I don't care if Gary Kasparov and Derryn Hinch are at the table, I'll beat them in 0.13 seconds.
Ryan: Oh yeah? Well what does ch mean?
Google: People ask me that all the time. I don't know what it means. That doesn't mean I can't use it in Scrabble.
Ryan: That's true. Are you sure you don't know what ch means?
Google: It's the top-level domain name for Switzerland.
Ryan: That doesn't make it a word. The domain for Australia is au. That's not a two-letter word.
Google: Aa, ab, ad, ae, ag, ah, ai, al, ar, aw, ax and ay. Shit, you're right. So what the fuck does ch mean then?
Ryan: No idea.
Google: I just know that http://www.mattelscrabble.com/en/adults/tips/tip1.html says that ch can be useful for creating parallel plays or squeezing in a good play on a blocked board. I also know that you just linked to that page too.
Ryan: Wow, you're good.
Comments
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