Lemon Bars Here I Come!

I am ever so glad Tv Land let me know I Love Lucy is a repeat. I was really wondering about that. What would I do if Comcast didn't have their info guide to fill me in???? Actually I shouldn't mock...I get really upset if the guide isn't working. My God, what will I do? I don't know the name of this episode of friends???? Oh My God, what am I going to do, I can't look and see whats on the sci-fi channel at 4:30am??? The horror...The horror!!!!



So I have been Suzy Homemaker lately. I made meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes for dinner. Lemon bars for desert. Cookies will be baked this weekend. Why? Well according to Linda it's my nesting genes kicking in from being knocked up. Apparrently vomiting every morning for 3 weeks, having itchy nipples and crying hysterically at work is suspicious! Who knew? However as we all know, Jamie hates children. Jamie thinks the concept of getting knocked up with some evil man's spawn is the worst thing she's ever heard of. Jamie also believes all children should come out potty trained and mute. They must wear gold lamay fanny packs to distinguish them from the midgets roaming the halls so intelligent people like Jamie can avoid them like the plague. One almost touched me at Target the other day. Lucky for me I'm stealth and bobbed and weaved my way to safety. Whooo, that was a close one!



Speaking of midgets, my Peruvian midget Waldo has not arrived yet. Where's Waldo??? In case you don't know of what I am speaking, let me fill you in. I decided I sit too far away from the production room at work. I walk a mile a day just at work, walking up and down the hall like some sort of civil engineering hooker. So I told my manager I wanted an assistant to push me in my chair to the production room and back. She said no. I told her I would settle for an illegal alien we could pay cheaply under the table. Again she said no. I said I could be satisfied with an illegal alien midget so we could pay them half as much as a regular sized illegal alien (they are short and as we all know, short people need less money because they only have to tiny clothes) AND the illegal alien midget will be short enough that they will be hidden behind the back of the chair and noone will even know they are there. She said to look into it, cause really, who can argue with logic like that??? So I did and found the best illegal alien chair pushing midgets come from Peru. Sweeeeeeeeeeet!

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