Wicked Smart

Saturday night and I'm home doing laundry and watching a bootlegged copy of Madagascar....how pathetic is this? But more importantly how did I end up here? Three words really...poor money management. I wonder how old I will have to be in order to get that whole check book balancing thing people talk about? Oh well, its not so bad, everyone who was going to go out to Todd's birthday party, Todd included, is in the same boat and hanging out at their respective homes. So I guess this works for me. We've rescheduled his party for next Friday which is payday so there will be much rejoicing with liquor and the like. Woo hoo! Work this week was very exciting. We got a new binding machine on Monday. It's seriously the coolest thing ever! I had to go around and show everyone, noone outside of the admin group was very thrilled about it. They just don't get how awesome this thing really is. To go from 10 sheets at a time to a 1/4 inch of paper is the coolest thing and such a t...

Last night I went a little crazy from lack of sleep. I brought out a movie and my roommie and I settled on to the couch to watch it. She started to fall asleep which really wouldn't be an issue but she farts and snores while sleeping and I wasn't in the mood for either so began tapping her with an empty water bottle. When that started to lose its effectiveness I took the green marker I was working with (I really was doing work for work) and started to color her hair. Thank goodness she is blonde, it really shows the green, tee hee. It wasn't until I backed away that I could see just how green that section of her hair really had become. She became very annoyed with me, having been woken from slumber to a giggling roommate and green hair, so did what is the worst possible punishment and stuck her nasty ass foot in my face. (In case you didn't know, I hate feet, they are all gross and should be left at least 4 1/2 feet from my face at all times.) So I colored the bot...

A is for Age: I'm ageless, but if you're getting picky I'm technically Ж years old. B is for Best Friend: Mankind. The people, not the wrestler. C is for Career: I'm pretty content overseeing all of creation, but I think what I'd really like to do is make short films. I've been working on this script for a while. It's kinda like Clerks, except it takes place on the edge of infinity. D is for Drink of Choice: I'm mostly sober these days. Last time I drank it was bourbon, and I don't remember exactly what happened but when I woke up my knee was scraped, my head was killing me, and 150,000 people in Indonesia had died. LOL :p E is for Essential Item: My magic wand. From raising the sun to making the Virgin Mary appear, I literally can't do anything without it. F is for Favorite Song at the Moment: "God Only Knows," by The Beach Boys. G is for Favorite Game: OMG I am totally addicted to The Sims. I love playing Me with no consequences. H is...

A few things I have learned this week... 1. The two words you never want to hear your dentist say while working on you: flame shaper. Yep, you heard that correctly. While sitting innocently in my dentist chair, mouth pried open my dentist asked his assistant to hand him the flame shaper. Of course I cocked my head and stared at him confused, omitting something along the lines of "huh?" but having dental objects shoved in my completely numb mouth it was competely unintelligible. I envisioned the dentist grabbing a propane tank-like item, getting one of those masks and pushing the face protector over his face and the blue flame shot out of the nozzle and he bent over me saying "This might hurt, but only for a moment." My theory is that nothing...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in my mouth should need shaping by flame. Glass is shaped by flame. Teeth...um, not so much. In actuality there were no special masks, no propane tanks...I never actually saw the elusive flame shaper but wha...